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改卷老师眼中的优秀英语作文 -- 写作指导(一)
2015-11-12 11:04:49   来源:    点击:
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                                                          广东梅县东山中学            曾梓强


大作文是指读写任务,小作文是指基础写作。
一、怎样写30字总结?
1、文章载体
(1)记叙文,谁做什么+故事发生的原因、时间、地点、结果。
(2)议论文:主题句+支撑句或支撑句+主题句。
(3)说明文:每段第一句(段意明显情况下)
2、写作内容中的中文提示(中文有、原文有是要点)。
3、提升(启示):作者写作的意图是什么、提倡的是什么,一般要写正能量,即往好的方面写。如:我们要节俭,我们要笑口常开(写不笑口常开不好);我们要感激(回报)父母无私的爱,我们要有责任;遇到压抑要哭出来
 
二、怎样写内容?
1、翻译内容包括(1)(2)(3),不要当作问答题,只写回答(即不要直接回答)。英语周报的答案有时候要点不明显。
2、要点。
(1)叙述经历
It occurred to me / It struck me that Li Ming, a friend of mine, had a similar experience.
The passage reminds me of my own experience of feeling homesick. Two years ago, I … But when… As a result … 
(2)读后感受
After reading the passage, I feed really excited / happy /sorry /ashamed /disappointed, because …
(3)方法措施
Here are some /workable / effective measures / solutions to deal with … First of all … What’s more … Finally …  
(4)表明观点
As far as I am concerned, I can’t agree with the author on the view that … I hold my view for the reason that … What’s more …
Personally speaking, I strongly argue against the idea that … It is not only because …, but also because …
(5)如果假设
If there were no cleaners, an inevitable deterioration in environment would occur. For one thing, the streets would be full of disgusting rubbish with rats or files running around. For another, with natural environment worsing, citizens would suffer from the spread of diseases.
(6)理由原因
There are several reasons that contribute to …
To begin with, … Besides, … Last but not least …
The reason why zoo visitors love to take photos with animals is that they just want to show their great love and interest in animals. In addition, … Lastly…  
(7)理想愿望
I have a dream in my mind that I can have a good time in my college. I really hope that I can take part in more after-class activities to broaden my own horizons. What’s more, I want to make more friends with whom I can share my joys and sorrows. In a word I would like to lead a happy and fulfilling life in my college.
(8)后果影响
Homesickness not only influenced me a lot in my study but also did a great harm to my school life. First, What’s worse … Worst of all …
(9)感激祝福
I am deeply grateful to you, my dear dad. Above all, thank you for … Moreover, I am grateful to you for … Finally, I greatly appreciate the advice and instructions ... Actually, my gratitude is beyond words. I do hope…
(10)举例说明(举例说明老师对你学习或成长的影响)
Mrs Wang was the teacher who helped me a lot with my English. What she did had a great impact on my study and growth. Thanks to her help, I made great progress in English. Here is one example. When I … I … However, …
(11)回忆联想(上文使你联想哪位对你帮助最大的老师?)
This story reminds me of Mr. Chen, my physics teacher in Junior Three, who helped me a lot. He not only … but also, … What’s move, he … I still remember that …
(12)描述描写
There is no denying the fact that it is tough to work as a street cleaner for … Besides, …
(13)计划打算(有些学生中途放弃学业去创业)你自己有何打算
Instead of dropping out of school, first of all, I plan to make good use of my schooling time to gain more knowledge and learn some basic skills, which will prepare me for my future carreer . I will also enrich my experience through part-time work, hoping to realize my dream.
(14)道理启示(我住校不习惯,父母特意请假过来陪我,使我可以较快地适应)给你的感悟
From my experience I know that parents are those who I trust most. Whenever I am in low spirits, they give me warmth and comfort. For me, what really matters is the happiness of staying with my parents.   
(15)重要必要(做个好的倾听者的重要性)
Nothing is more important than being a good listener in our life. I can not only help us to understand what a person says but also help us get the right information from the speaker. In addition, you will also improve the communication with others if you are good at listening.
 
三、怎样才能句子错落有致、句式多种多样?
(一)连接2个句子。主谓宾(主系表)+定语(放在名词后)和状语(放在句前、句后)
Brazil is the largest country in South America.--------(which is )the largest country in south America/ as the largest country in south America 
Brazil possesses many natural resources and complete industry. ---------which possesses many natural resources and complete industry/possessing many natural resources and complete industry/
   
1、保留第一句。
(1)Brazil, which possesses many natural resources and complete industry, is the largest country in South America.
(2)Brazil, possessing many natural resources and complete industry, is the largest country in South America.
(3)Possessing many natural resources and complete industry, Brazil is the largest country in South America.
(4)Brazil is largest country in South America,possessing many natural resources and complete industry. 
(5)With many natural resources and complete industry, Brazil is the largest country in South America.
(6)Brazil is the largest country in South America, with many natural resources and complete industry.
2、保留第二句。
(1)Brazil, which is the largest country in South America, possesses many natural resources and complete industry. 
(2)Brazil, the  largest country in South America, possesses many natural resources and complete industry.
(3)As the largest country in South America,Brazil possesses many natural resources and complete industry.
3、两句保留。
(1)Brazil is largest country in South America,and it possesses many natural resources and complete industry,
(2)Brazil is largest country in South America,and possesses many natural resources and complete industry.
(3)Brazil possesses many natural resources and complete industry ,and it is the largest country in South America. 
(4)Brazil possesses many natural resources and complete industry, and is the largest country in South America.
(二)连接3个句子以上。句子(由2个句子以上变成)+定、状(由2个句子以上变成),即起点在(一)的基础上。for
Brazil is largest country in South America.
Its capital is Brasilia.
Brazil has many natural resources and complete industry.
Brazil possesses a population of 0.201 billion.
Brazil cover an area of 8.549 million square kilometers.
 
As the largest country in South America, Brazil, whose capital is Brasilia, has many natural resources and complete industry, possessing a population of 0.201 billion and coving an area of 8.549 million square kilometers.
 
With many natural resources and complete industry, Brazil, whose capital is Brasilia, is the largest country in South America, possessing a population of 0.201 billion and covering an area of 8.549 million square kilometers.
 
It comes to advertising.
Consumers need to be educated about techniques.
The techniques are used by advertisers.
The consumers can judge the claims for themselves.
The consumers can not blindly accept everything.
Everything is said in advertisements.
When it comes to advertising, consumers need to be educated about techniques used by advertisers so they can judge the claims for themselves and not blindly accept everything that is said in advertisements. 
The sidewalk is three meters wide and fifty meters long .
It is divided into two pathways.
One is for cell phone users.
The other is for those ordinary pedestrians.
(1).The sidewalk is three meters wide and fifty meters long, divided into two pathways ,one for cell phone users and the other for those ordinary pedestrians. 
(2)With a width of 3 meters and a length of 50 meters, the sidewalk is divided into two pathways, one for cell phone users and the other for those ordinary pedestrians.
(3)(Being )three meters wide and fifty meters long, the sidewalk is divided into two path ways ,one for cell phone users and the other for those ordinary pedestrians.
(4)The sidewalk, which is 3 meters wide and 50 meters long, is divided into two pathways, one for cell phone users and the other for those pedestrians. 
(5)The sidewalk ,three meters wide and fifty meters long ,is divided into two pathways, one for cell phone users and the other for those pedestrians. 
(6)The sidewalk, with a width of three meters and a length of fifty meters , is divided into two pathways ,one for cell phone users and the other for those pedestrians.  
(三)上一篇的句型,用到下一篇。
周报8期(2)叙述一次你哭泣的经历
Never shall I forger my experience of crying when I was in Junior One. I didn’t study hard and as a result. I got a score of only 59 in an English test. So sorry was I that I shut myself in my bedroom, crying. I felt much better after crying and made up my mind to work hard.
 
周报9期(3)请以你和你朋友之间的经历来说明你的观点。 
Never shall I forger my experience of the friendship between my friend and me when I was in Junior One. I didn’t study hard and as a result, I got a score of only 59 in an English test. So sorry was I that I shut my-self in my bedroom, crying. However, seeing this, my friend Tom came in and said a lot of cheerful words to me. Comforting me, he encouraged me to cheer up. Her words were transformed into a released smile of mine. Later, he helped me with my English, and I caught up with others before long. I am deeply convinced that our friendship has always been a force to push me forward.  
(四)使用一些高级词汇(附录四)                            
(五)原文改写
四、文章怎样才能重点突出?
每段(包括30字总结)换人称+提升/启示,如:中段试题第一段总结“我们要养成好习惯”,第二段“我们要养成好习惯(重要性)”,第三段“我养成好习惯”,第四段“我们怎样才能养成好习惯”。
 
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